


I was happy with you

by Themooncat



Series: Kurotsuki Angst Week 2018 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, for krtskangstweek, krtsk angst week, kurotsuki angst week 2018, those stupid thoughts in our head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 14:16:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16265927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Themooncat/pseuds/Themooncat
Summary: Tsukishima knew better than to listen to that stupid voice in his head, he was smarter than that.But what did he do? He listened to the voice.





	I was happy with you

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this sucks, I rushed to write it at 11pm since I couldn't leave my babies sad and angsty ([art work I made for krtskangstweek](https://twitter.com/LucyToyn/status/1050232399194292225)) so I wrote a fic for them where they can have a happy ending.

It's been 9 months since they've been together.

 

Nine months. Three years since they've known each other.

 

Kuroo saw something in Tsukishima. Felt something for Tsukishima, at first he thought it was platonic and that he just saw the hidden potential in him but as he spent more time with him, knocked down the walls and gotten to know Tsukishima. He realised it was more. When he graduated he still did his best to visit Tsukishima, the first year he was able to use the excuse of watching nekoma play against them, until he realised it wasn't enough and wanted to see him more. He was glad Tsukishima accepted his excuse of “What? Am I not allowed to check up on my favourite kouhai?” He visited a lot after that. Until he didn't have to, cause Tsukishima applied for a college in Tokyo and got in. They shared an apartment together.

 

Kuroo was happy when Tsukishima agreed to go out with him, he got to see the biggest, brightest smile he'd ever seen. What he didn't know was that Tsukishima was going to ask him out that same day. 

 

Tsukishima was happy when Kuroo would visit him. He knew that “checking up on him” wasn't the reason for the visits. Kuroo lived in Tokyo still and would have to travel for hours on a train to visit him, why would he go through all that trouble? He applied for a college university because it was the best for his career choice, being closer to Kuroo, heck! Being able to live with him, was a bonus. Tsukishima couldn't hide his smile when Kuroo asked him out, he was planning on doing so that night after making him dinner, but things worked out. 

 

Until it didn't. The first 4 months were the best times of their lives. They were both happy and made each other happy. The fifth month was when things started to fall apart. Tsukishima started to feel like a burden. He knew he was being ridiculous, Kuroo always showed Tsukishima how much he loved him and how much Tsukishima meant to him, Tsukishima did so as well, but that just fueled the voice in the back of his head. A voice that would whisper “ _ You're dragging him back _ .”, “ _ You can't make him feel loved the way he deserves _ .”  And “ _ He’ll find someone better _ .”

 

Tsukishima ignored that voice for two months, until the whispers turned into shouts that he could no longer ignore. He wanted to tell Kuroo about them but never did because it was himself that was the problem, he was worried that if he told Kuroo what he was feeling Kuroo would feel as if he wasn't loving Tsukishima enough when it's the exact opposite, Kuroo is the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for.  _ But are you the best for Tetsurou? _

 

Kuroo should've known something was wrong. Tsukishima was more physical lately. He would hold him, whether it was his hands, a hug or even when they kissed, he did so as if he was going to disappear. When he would ask if anything was wrong or what was on his mind, Tsukishima would just smile softly at him and say “I love you, you know that right?” 

 

Kuroo chuckled and pulled Tsukishima into a kiss, wrapping his arms around him and pressing him flush against his chest as he pulled back to rest their foreheads together, looking him straight in the eye and saying “Of course, I love you too.” Kuroo would do anything for Tsukishima, he'd give up everything for him if it'd make him happy… but he didn't know what was going on inside Tsukishima's mind. 

 

Kuroo took Tsukishima out for dinner one night, he was only focused on Tsukishima that he didn't realise that the waitress was hitting on him. 

This used to happen a lot during the first couple of months when they were dating. One of them would get hit on but the other would just laugh knowing it was a lost cause cause. That wasn't the case that night. Tsukishima lost his appetite, when the girl flirted with Kuroo, Tsukishima knew that Kuroo was oblivious but his mind screamed “ _ She’s his type! Look at her long soft blonde hair, sure it may be dyed but she could easily replace you _ .” “ _ Look at how bubbly she is! She won't be salty or mean like you, she would spoil Kuroo with love, something you'll never be able to do _ .” He felt like crying but instead he put on a small smile to reassure Kuroo, even though he barely touched his food. 

 

“I just don't feel too well to be honest.” He lied when Kuroo asked if everything was alright, when he really wanted to say; “No, I love you so much but I feel like I'm holding you back.” 

 

Kuroo immediately apologized for not realizing, Tsukishima tried to reassure him and said he could continue eating, that he didn't mind just being with him but Kuroo said he “didn't mind going back,” that “making sure he was ok was more important to him” and called a waiter over to pack the food for take away. 

 

On the walk back to the house, Kuroo's arm around his waist, pressed up against Kuroo's side, Tsukishima was mad at himself. He just ruined a night that Kuroo had planned.  _ He dropped everything for you, he must've looked forward to this and you ruined it. _

 

Tsukishima hugged Kuroo tight memorizing the feel and warmth cause he was going to lose it soon. 

 

Once they arrived at the apartment Tsukishima walked straight to their closet, took out his suitcase and started packing. Kuroo dropped the food bag and ran to Tsukishima trying to stop him. 

 

“Hey, hey. What's wrong?! Kei why are you packing? Please talk to me!”  He cried hysterically. Tsukishima looked up with tears in his eyes. “I-I can't do this…” his voice was so quiet that Kuroo almost didn't hear him, but he did and his heart broke.

 

“W-What? Why? Was it something I did? I can fix it, we can work it out together. Just- please don't go, talk to me.” He cried taking Tsukishima's hands in his. 

 

Tsukishima sobbed and, with all his strength, took back his hands, holding them against his chest. He wanted to stop what he was doing and tell Kuroo everything, to wipe the sad look off his face and make him smile but the voice said: “ _ You know this is for the best. He’ll be better off without you _ .” He clenched his eyes shut, he already managed to put a handful of his clothes in the suitcase, he could buy more. He zipped up the suitcase, took his backpack, packed his headphones and electronics. He was about to head to the door when Kuroo grabbed his arm. 

 

“Kei, please, talk to me. Don't go.” Kuroo sounded so broken, he was. He was losing the love of his life, the man he thought he would grow old with. 

 

Tsukishima couldn't look at him, knowing if he did he'd stay. “I'm so sorry, Kuroo.” Saying that hurt just as much as it did hearing it, Tsukishima never called Kuroo by his last name since they dated, not even when they fought. Kuroo felt as if he'd been gutted, his hand slipped from Tsukishima's hand hanging limply by his side. “I just can't do this. I- I just- I can't do this.” Tsukishima was glad he wasn't facing Kuroo or he'd see that he was lying. He walked out the door and didn't look back, at least not until he was sure that Kuroo didn't follow him. 

 

Kuroo didn't want Tsukishima to leave but if it was what Tsukishima wanted he'd let him go. He clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palms to stop himself from running after Tsukishima and begging him to give him a second chance. 

 

Tsukishima stopped himself from looking back for the fifth time as he waited for the bus. He wanted Kuroo to run after him. He knew he was being selfish, but if Kuroo did then he would've stayed.  _ Don't. He's better off without you. _ The voice sang. Tsukishima’s eyebrows furrowed as the image of Kuroo's crying face flashed in his mind. “No.” Tsukishima whispered at the same time the bus pulled up informs of him. The voice screamed at him to “ _ get on the bus! It's what Kuroo would want!” _ But with each word the voice said images of all the best times he'd had with Kuroo, before and during their relationship, flashed in his mind and the voice got softer and softer until he couldn't hear it anymore. 

 

“Sir? Are you getting on the bus?” The driver called from his seat. Tsukishima looked up and realised he had tears pouring out of his eyes. “Are you alright, sir?” 

 

Tsukishima wiped his face and picked up his stuff. “I'm fine. And no, I'm not getting on.” He got off the bench he was sitting on and ran back to the apartment, back to Tetsurou. Except he didn't have to run far as he saw Tetsurou running towards him. Kuroo looked shocked to see him running towards him but smiled and easily caught Tsukishima when he dropped his bags and jumped into his arms. 

 

“I-I'm so sorry. I love you, I love you so much. I just- I was so stupid. I- I had these stupid thoughts and... I believed them when I should've known better.” Tsukishima tried to say between sobs as Kuroo held him tight, worried that Tsukishima would disappear if he even loosened his hold. 

 

“It's ok, it's ok. Breath. Breath.” Kuroo tried to soothe him, with one hand holding his back and the other wiping Tsukishima's tears. “You came back and that's all that matters to me. I love you so much. I wanted to let you go, if that was what you wanted, but I couldn't help myself and ran after you.” 

 

“I was an idiot that listened to a stupid voice in my head instead of thinking things through. I hurt you. I hurt you when that was the last thing I wanted, I thought you'd be better off without me. That I was weighing you down.”

 

Kuroo laughed a sad laugh. “You thought I'd be better off without you? When you were leaving I felt as if my life was ending. You could never weigh me down, if anything you make me want to be better for you. I couldn't ask for a better love than you.” 

 

Tears fell from their eyes. Tsukishima wiped Kuroo's tears away and kissed him. They kissed as if they hadn't seen each other for years and wanted to remember everything. They eventually pulled away, Tsukishima got his suitcase while Kuroo helped him with his bag. 

 

“Let's go home, Kei.” 

 

Wrapping an arm around each other's waist, they walked back home. 

**Author's Note:**

> Again, so sorry if this was bad. Just had to get it out of me.
> 
>  
> 
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